Responsibility
by DarkBlueMoon
Summary: Two different persons, two different sides. And a young woman who is torn between the responsibility for her side and the only man she ever loved... Please R


"_Responsibility"_

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the story.

The day of the battle had finally arrived. She was anxious, they all were. You could feel it in the air, the feeling of something big that was going to come.

Everyone in the Order felt it. Knowing that tomorrow every single one of them could be dead, everything could be in vain. If they failed, it would be the end of hope for all muggleborns.

In fact it would be the end of all who were against the-one-who-must-not-be-named.

Harry, Ron and Hermione had mobilised the whole Order and everyone who shared their ideals and their wish for peace and the death of Lord Voldemort.

There were more of them than anyone would have dared to dream of. But there was a problem.

Actually Harry had wanted to choose the place and the time of this final battle. So that they had at least the moment of surprise on their side. However they had to fight earlier now than they intended to.

Because somehow Voldemort new about the old plan to attack them within newmoon, which was when his werewolves were weaker than usual.

One of their spys told Harry about that. So now they had to attack, on fullmoon., which gave the Dark Lord a huge advantage. Because the Order had no werewolves on their side.

Lupin had been killed in a fight about three month ago. After that traumatic incident Tonks refused to talk and keept herself looked up in her room for almost all the time.

This change of plan had made Harry very angry but he knew that if they attacked tomorrow they had at least the surprise on her side. Which was not very much, but at least something.

And now there she was. Betraying all of here friends and the people she cared about. She was even betraying herself. Her ideals and here wishes for a better world.

Hermione was sneaking out of the Headquarters at Grimauld Place twelve. It was already dark outside. The could november air hit her like daggers in the face, when she stepped out of the comforting warmth of the house.

Nobody was to be seen on the streets. The fog was lurking around every corner so the whole scene had something unnatural. But in this very moment Hermione didn´t care at all about atmosphere.

She just wanted to leave this place as fast as possible. She desperately wanted to see him, she longed for his touch and desired his kisses. It had taken her a lot of dicipline to listen to

Harrys plans for the upcoming battle, but after hearing them for the tenth time during the day made her think about him even more.

She had waited for the others to go to their rooms so she could finally leave and escape the gloomy atmosphere and the anxious face that were all over the house.

Hermione knew very well that tomorrow was the day of days, that it would be the final battle, the one that ends a war. For the good or for something she didn´t even dare to think about.

However, right now she didn´t want to think about any of there things. She wanted to see him so badly that it was hard for her to bear.

By now she had reached her destination. A long time ago it had probably been a very nice building, but now it had something strange.

The letters MOTEL were almost gone, destroyed by wind, rain and sunshine.

The small bell rang as she stepped inside. The lobby was full of shabby red armchairs, they were all empty. Except for one.

With his back turned to her sat a man in an armchair that was near the stairs, leading up to the rooms. Her stomach tightened at his sight.

She had to behave herself not to run towards him and wrap her arms around him.

Now that she could even see him, every single part of her body tensed and prickled.

"You´re late." His voice made her shiver.

"I know, I had to wait till nobody would notice my absence."

He didn´t respond. Just stood up and walked towards her.

"I already got a room. I hope you don´t mind."

"Not at all."

They both began to walk upstairs. The stairs were wooden and creaked with every step they took.

With every step that brought Hermione closer to their room she thought less about her responsibility towards Harry, Ron and all the others.

In the dim light of the motel hallway just the two of them excisted.

Smelling him, close behind her, his hand in her hand, almost feeling his hot breath on her skin, she could no longer hold her passion back.

She swirled around and pressed her lips firmly onto his. He gave into her kiss right away. Parting her lips with his, his tounge slid into her mouth, caressing her tounge with his.

She moaned as he grabbed her hips and pressed her closer to him. She didn´t know how long the kiss lasted but when they finally pulled away they were both out of breath.

"Let´s got to our room." His voice was hoarse and full of passion.

She could do nothing more that nodding because he had already lifted her up and was kissing her passionately.

Hermione could feel the warmth of his body under his cloak. She was pressing herself closer against him while he caried her through the hallway into a room.

His lips left hers and travelled down her neck. She shivered as she felt his tounge licking the sensitive spot were her neck met her shoulders.

Running her hand through his hair she tried to look into his eyes. Her gaze met his, and his steel grey eyes had lost their cruelty, it had been replaced by desire.

Her stomach tightened under the knowledge that she could change this man while she was with him. She could turn the mercilessness in his eyes into something like caring about her, she changed the hatred into passion.

A small smile came over his features, making them look less tensed.

"What?" His voice was barely more than a whisper.

She couldn´t believe that he had killed so many people. Innocent people, people she cared about, people that were her friends. Hermione forbid herself to think about that.

Because thinking about it naturally leaded to thinking about how she could do this. How she could be with him.

Why she longed for touching him and being touched by him instead of the desire to kill him, to make him pay for what he had done.

Pushing all these rational thoughts away she answered

"Nothing, just go on kissing me."His smile grew wider and he responded

"Nothing I´d desire more."

Their kiss became even more passionate, their tounges dancing with each other, teasing and wanting.

He pushed her hard against the wall. Pressing his body against hers, so that she could feel his growing erection close to her thight.

One of his hands slid under her skirt, pushed her panty aside. She knew that he couldn't wait any longer. She felt it in his kiss and as well in his trousers.

However, she couldn´t wait either. So she opened his belt, then his trousers and slid them down to his ankles.

He was wearing silk green boxers, as always. Since they had fucked the first time, in their seventh year at Hogwarts, when they had been Head Boy and Head Girl, she just remembered him in green silk boxer. She loved the contrast they made against his delicate pale skin.

He groaned in her mouth as she caressed his cock with one hand, the other one still pressing herself close to him.

Malfoy slid his finger inside her. Trusting in and out of her while rubbing her with his thumb.

Hermione moaned as he did so.

"I want to feel you" his voice was full of passion and desire.

"Then take what you want."

In her normal life she wouldn´t have dreamed about saying something like that, but this wasn´t her normal life. This was different and beyond reason or explanation.

He pushed her skirt up and with one quick flink of his hand he ripped her panty apart.

"Sorry," he mumbled against her throat, but she didn´t care.

She desperately wanted to feel inside her.

Malfoy grabbed her butt and lifted her easily up so she could wrap his legs around his waist, allowing him better entrance.

Still kissing her he pushed inside her. Hermiones body tensed as he slid in and out of her.

The grip on her butt by his hands tightened. He began sucking her neck, making her moan his name.

His pace quickened and she wrapped her arms stronger around his neck as if she wanted them to melt together completely.

Their breath became shorter and their moans louder when he fucked her in this shabby motelroom, pressed against the wall.

They came together and and he collapsed onto the floor, still inside her, with her on top of him. Both breathed hard, trying to calm down.

His silver blond hair was wet with sweat and her cheeks were red like her swollen lips.

Hermione didn´t know for how long they had been laying there on the floor, just breathing, just feeling each others presence.

He turned around to face her. With a slow movement the began to caress her face, letting his fingers follow every feature of it. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but then closed it again.

Malfoy took her by the hand while the stood up, so she was forced to stand up, too.

A quick glance at the alarmclock on the little table besides the bed told her that it wasn´t even one o´clock in the morning, so she had plenty of time left befor she had to go back to the Headquarters and to her normal life.

He placed his arm on her hips, drawing her closer to him. The look on her face must have been very confusing, because he gave her one of those smiles, when his mouth was barely moving but his eyes were twinkling with laughter that couldn´t be heard.

Softly he placed a kiss on her forehead, something he had never done before. More kisses were placed all over her face. First those kisses were gentle and carefull as the first one, but soon they became more intense and even hungry.

She took her face into her hands and looked deep into his eyes, but she couldn´t understand the feeling written in them. It wasn´t just lust or hunger for her body. There was something else, something she hadn´t dare even to think about.

Avoiding her eyes he started kissing her again. His thumb touched her lower lip, gentle opening her mouth to slid his tounge in.

This time their kiss was slower, more careful and even gentle. Although it expressed still the passion they both felt.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing her very close to him so they could feel almost every inch of the other one´s body.

Putting her arms around his neck he lifted her up as if she wouldn´t weight more than a feather. He carried her towards the large bed.

After pushing her onto the bed, he crawled slowly on top of her, never breaking the kiss. He began trailing down a series of soft wet kisses, down her throat until he reached the collar of her blouse.

With every button he opened more of her skin was exposed to his kisses.

When finally all of the buttons were open he lifted her up a little and pushed the blouse off her shoulders and threw it onto the floor on which they had just been laying breathless.

Now he took every time in the world to cover every part of her skin he could reach with kisses.

Hermiones eyes were closed in extasy, her hands gripping the sheets beneath her.

Malfoy carefully removed her shirt under her now trembling legs. There she lay in front of him, just wearing her black bra, exposed to his looks.

He bent down again, mumbling against the skin of her stomach

"God, you are so damn beautiful that it almost hurts looking at you"

His comment made Hermiones interior burn with a feeling she couldn´t describe, if felt excactly as if you are getting into a hot bath after a cold rainy day. She felt how she was blushing, a thing she hadn´t done for a very long time because their wasn´t anything to blush about.

Her blushing made him smile one of those smiles that made him look like he used to look like when they were at Hogwarts. It made him look younger and less cruel. And it remembered Hermione of the times they had spent together.

A time when she had been happy, a long time ago so it almost seemed like a dream to her.

So lost in her thoughts she barely noticed how he romoved bra, but when he began to kiss her breasts she was again completely into what they or better he was doing at the moment.

No thinking or dreaming of the past,she reminded herself,you are just here to fuck with him, like you did all those years before. This has nothing to do with what happened at Hogwarts. This is just physical.

To keep herself from any further thinking she flung him around so that he laid on his back now.

She slowly put his shirt over his head, let her hands wander all over his perfect torso.

He wasn´t too muscular, just the way she liked it. Malfoy hissed with pleasure as she took one of his nipples into her mouth gently sucking it while she caressed the other between her thumb and forefinger.

His hands were in her hair by now, pulling her up so she was on one level with his face.

He kissed her passionately, like he was about to drown, he hold onto her body like he would never let go. But she made herself free of his hug and traced kisses down to his boxers.

With one quick movement she had them removed, exposing his cock, throbbing with passion.

He moaned her name loudly as she took him into her mouth. His hands were grabbing into the sheets like Hermiones had done before.

"

Stop it", he groaned, "I wanna fuck you, right now."

Looking up right into his face, which was full of pleasure and desire, she just smiled tauntingly at him and countinued sucking his dick, never breaking eye-contact.

Malfoy closed his eyes and threw his head back breathing hard. But then he suddenly grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her up to him.

After a long hot kiss he moved so that she was now lying under him. He started kissing and biting her neck, making her moan with pleasure.

Then he pushed inside her, it took her by surprise, but soon she wrapped her legs around him, bringing him closer to her.

They found their rythym as they always did. But this time it seemed to be a little different. Not the kind of difference you can explain in words, more the one you can feel in the air, a difference that is all around you, but when you try to grip it, you will fail.

Their lips were melted together as they fucked, their bodies covered with sweat and tangled together like they were one, one person or something that was not meant to part.

When both of them came together their kiss supressed their groans of extasy.

Hermione didn´t know how long they had laid there in silence.

She loved this moment, both of them were exhausted but kind of happy.

In this moment all of her normal life didn´t matter much. It didn´t matter who they were, what they were doing or what they were up to do. In this moment he wasn´t a famous and feared Death Eater and she wasn´t one of Harry Potters most loyal followers.

They were just two persons making love to one another. But this wasn´t going to last, Hermione knew that.

Because through the windows she could see the darkness fading and altough she didn´t want to she had look over to the alarmclock on the table besides the bed. It was nearly half past four in the morning.

She had to make herself ready and go back to Grimauld Place twelve before the others wondered where she was.

And there was also something else. Today wasn´t an ordinairy day when she had to sneak back. Today was the day of the final fight between good and evil. Hermione had to smirk over her pathetic expression. Good and evil, it wasn´t always so easy to define.

Look at yourself, she thought,you fight with the good guys but you fuck a bad guy.´

She sighed while getting up. Malfoy looked asleep, but she was sure he was just pretending.

While getting dressed she thought about last night, and that it had probably been their last night together.

"Don´t go."

His voice startled her.

"I´m always leaving at this time, I thought you knew that." Her voice sounded controlled and as neutral as she could manage at his request.

"I know, but I don´t want you to go."

She turned around and simply looked at him,

Please don´t talk, just let me leave and get killed in this damn battle today.

By now he started to get dressed himself. When both of them were finally dressed, Hermione went towards the door, but Malfoy was grabbing her by wrist, forcing her to face him.

"Why did everything change, Hermione?" His voice was low, barely more than a whisper.

Trying to sound unimpressed she answered

"Because you decided suddenly to kill some innocent people and joining Voldemort.", her voice became tensed, "and you didn´t stop killing, you became one of Voldemort´s most loyal an powerfull followers. That´s why. And do not call me Hermione."

She was on the verge of tears now, when he suddenly said,

"Let´s leave this place. Let´s start all over again where nobody knows us. I don´t want you to get killed in a stupid fight against the Lord."

"I wished so long for you to say something like that. I hoped for it every single time I saw you. But I cannot leave now. This is impossible for me to do."

A single tear was running down her cheek and she felt it burning like fire.

Hermione saw the pain and the anger on his face, it made him look more like a Death Eater before.

"So, you are going to stay with Potter, marrying him, giving birth to his children and get killed fighting my Lord." The anger and pain were now obvious in his voice.

"Yes, I will. I love Harry and I will stand on his side, in every fight he is into. Even if that means figthing you."

"But he won´t make you happy." He sounded desperate.

"And you will?"

"At least I could try, I know what you want and need. You are not made to be Potters wife, you want more in life."

While he said all this was a fire in his eyes that made Hermione want to forget all of her responsibility to the Order and leave with him for a better future somewhere else.

But she was too realistic to believe this urge.

"Listen to me, you are a Death Eater, you killed so many people and did so much harm that there is no going back. Did you forget how you put me under the cruciatus curse?"

"No,", his voice was full of pain now,"But still you come see me and fucking me."

She almost had to smile at the sturburness in his face.

"Yeah, this is kind of sick, I know." Hermione looked down to the floor, but then suddenly raised her head and looked straight into his eyes.

"What is the point of all this? "

"Hermione, I know I hurt in any way possible, but I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. More than anything in the world. You are the essence of everything good in my life. I can´t stand loosing you.

Even if I tried to stop it, everytime I close my eyes all I see is you. Every fucking time I look at any female in the world I just can think of you.

You are the one and only for me. If there is hope left for me then you are this hope."

This hurted her so much, now, at the verge of the final battle the love of her life confessed that he needed and wanted her so badly.

And she had to refuse, because this lovestory was not meant to have a happy end.

Hermione couldn´t give into the urge to run towards him, burryin her face in his chest and then going away with him.

She had a responsibility, towards Harry and the Order. They were on opposite sides, and there are things that cannot be changed, no matter how hard you desire it.

"Draco, I can´t. Even if I would like to give into you and go away with you, I can´t."

"Why not?" His voice was tensed and his eyes were even more desperate by now.

That scared her the most. If she was able to make him look like this, to beg, to plead that she might come with him, wasn´t there a chance for them?

Making a Malfoy forget his pride had always seemed impossible to her, and now there he was, a Malfoy, beggin her, a Muggleborn, to run away with him and confessing her his love.

"Because this isn´t where I belong to. I belong to Harry, my place is on his side in his fight against the Dark Lord. He needs me."

"I need you, too." Now his eyes were shining with tears. "Do you love me?"

The silence hung over the room for what seemed to be an eternity.

"What if I do? That wouldn´t change anything, would it? You are still who you are and I am still who I am. Don´t make this more painful than it already is.

You´ll go back to your side and I´ll go back to mine. And if we aren´t killed, we will meet next month to do the only thing we can do together. Meeting in a shabby motel room, fuck and miss the old times."

It took Hermione all her strength to say it, because she knew there would be no next time. For today was the end of the war, although he didn´t know yet.

Probably at the end of it he or she wouldn´t be alive anymore.

Malfoy seemed to regain his self-control.

"Alright then, let´s go back to our normal lives."

But Hermione knew that all this was show now, he was hurt, badly hurt.

But "Who leaves first?" was the only thing she managed to say.

"I guess I do, because my wife is awaiting me at sunrise."

He took a step forward her,

"Funny thing, you just called me Drace when you told me we couldn´t be together in a normal way…" while he said it, a sad expression came over his face.

He leaned in and kissed. His was kiss passionate and hungry, but also desperate as if he was feeling that they would probably never meet so intimate again.

They held onto each other like people who are about to drown. And for this one kiss, a kiss of a final good-bye, there seemed to be nothing else in the world exept the two of them.

When he was just stepping out of the door, she said in a very quiet voice

"I do love Draco Malfoy, I always did and I always will."

He stopped dead for one single moment, but he never turned run, perhaps he feared what he might have done if he did.

Then he continued leaving the room.

Hermione just allowed the sentence to linger in the room for a moment or two.

Then she left for the Headquarters of the Order.

Going to where she belonged and where she was needed, never knowing what would have happened if he had turned back.

Thank you all for reading this and I hope none of us will be torn that badly between love and responsibility.

I´d be glad if someone reviewed.


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